She’s Mastered Her Tasks!

This is loosely based on something said (in a very public forum) by a real person. In fact, at the time, she was a comic book editor.  I’ve never been sure if she was serious.

But she and her husband broke up shortly after that. So you have to wonder…

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WOMAN (talking to man): Sure I can multi task! I do it all the time during sex!

Family (Sorta) Planning!

It’s not like it’s a big commitment or anything…

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WOMAN: I misplaced my dog! And my guppies flushed themselves down the drain!

WOMAN: But…sure! Let's have kids!

Queen of the Worrywarts!

Her motto: Things are never so good that they can’t get worse.

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WOMAN (crying): I just won $10 million in the lottery...again! And today’s
a national holiday in my honor! But I just know something will go wrong... someday!

Tattoo Adieu!

In the coming years, I expect a lot of women are going to dump this guy. I hope his chest is big enough to list all of ’em!

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SCENE: Man and woman speaking.

MAN: I had your name tattooed on my chest!

WOMAN: Cool! So we’ll be together forever--even after I dump you!

Bad Girl, Good Time!

How bad do you have to be to get out of prison 20 years early? Bad enough to be sent back to prison–if you’re caught!

↓ Transcript
Man opens door and finds another man and a woman embracing.

MAN (in doorway): But, Warden, you can't let her go! She's still got 20 years to go on her

WOMAN: I'm getting time off...for bad behavior!