Three’s a Crowd! Two…Ain’t Enough!

Lucky me. Not only did Orson Scott Card create a caption for the current writing contest (submit through Feb. 5, 2010), he also wrote the dialog for today’s comic.

Frankly, I love it. (If Charles Addams did romance comics I’d like to think they’d be like this.)

Orson actually wrote captions for a number of other Last Kiss panels. I’m just trying to figuring out the best time and format to use them. As I said before…lucky me.

↓ Transcript
Special guest writer: Orson Scott Card
Scene: Grim-faced man in the foreground; woman behind him over his shoulder, looking worried.

WOMAN: But you said if I sacrificed my conjoined'd
love me forever!

MAN: I wasn't talking to you!

June In January

Today’s comic was written by “June” who entered one of my recent writing contests and won in a close vote by readers. How close? One vote! See? Voting matters…at least when it comes to selecting what (or whom) you’re going to laugh about!

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SCENE: A woman enters the room through a doorway. In the foreground (with his back to us) a man watches her enter.

MAN: I told you to stay out of my closet!

WOMAN: And I told YOU that you can’t be...prettier than me when we go out!

Outta My Way!

In an odd way this reminds me of my grandmother. My mother’s mother wasn’t always sure where she was going, but she was in a hurry to get there.

She was always first in line. First on the bus. First off. And first to squirm around you, push past you and reach any door.

Maybe that was because she lived through the Depression and learned that not being first in line was a sure way to end up hungry. Or maybe she was just leading the way…

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SCENE: Determined woman driving a jeep honks her horn:

WOMAN: I’m on my way to the future! Get in...or get out of my way!


The contest submission period is over. But you can see the finalists and vote for the funniest dialog here through Feb. 13.

Background info about the contest and prizes here.

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CAPTION: She knew he was a real man when he fell out of the tree without dropping his beer.

I’m Priceless

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Crying woman sits in front of a picture of a man.

WOMAN (thinks): Oh, Darling! you should know by can’t
buy my love! You can only rent it!