What’s going on in this comic? It’s up to you! Suggest some dialog!
Rules: No prizes. No winners. No losers. And no deadline. This is just for the sheer silliness of it all.
For legal reasons, I have to tell you that all submissions become the property of Last Kiss Inc. That’s pretty standard for contests–except, of course, this isn’t a contest.
Please keep it reasonably clean (PG-13 or so.) But mostly have fun!
Oh, thank Goodness. I thought it was a war injury but now I can see that he’s only gone and tattooed USA on his.. hey… wait a minute… why is he heading next door?
Is that a duffel bag or is he just anxious to see me?
Woman: “I might as well face it. The only knob I have left is the one on this door.”
Woman: “My big chance to be a USO showgirl and I blew the audition (so to speak).”
“Yes. He’ll be shocked when he opens the duffel bag. But after all, it’s his child, too.”
Woman, thinking: Oh my GOD! This idiot steps over my foot when he last kissed me, I can’t stop crying… At least I have two months to find a boyfriend who cares about my feet…
“I know I shouldn’t care, but I’ll never get used to his psoriasis!! How can he look at it as if it were nothing??!! How can I make love to him ever again??!!
” If last night was Cowboys and Indians, today was supposed to be the Millionairess. I don’t have time to change into my Military Domination outfit! “
“Apparently he wasn’t kidding when he said he would rather eat K-Rations than my cooking. That dang Food Network!”
Soldier: “Hot dog! I can’t wait to see Jack again! I’ve missed him all these lonely months!”
Woman: “Oh Mike, there have been some changes since you left! I’m Jack no longer… I’m Jill!”
OMG! His 18 month deployment is over! And I have done the dishes once!
“I’m sure going to miss Private Johnson and his big sack.”
Oh no! When I told him I loved a man in uniform, I meant a marching band uniform.
Oh, no!! This is the same dress I was wearing when he left.
I’ve missed my husband so much these past two years. But how will I explain the 2 month old baby in the nursery.
Oh no! Ted is home and here I am in his favorite dress again! This time he is sure to leave me for that slinky, catty, insurance man down the street with his closet full of Jimmy Chos’.
I guess I’ll have to cut back to just flirting with the pool boy now.
It’s Johnny, home from the Front at last!! How I’ve missed him! Why, oh why, did he have to come home right in the middle of “Dancing With the Stars”?
These fake tears should distract Jim while Jack and Ron escape out the back window. Now where did they throw my panties?
Oh Duke. I didn’t want to hand you over to Cobra but If I had to hear you scream “Yo Joe” in the bedroom one more time…besides…those men of Cobra really know how to handle their snakes.
Why did he have to break up with me before he left for the war? I know he is just trying to save me the pain in case he doesn’t come home but I think war bonds would have been so much better.
OH MY! HOW IS SWEETUMS GOING TO SHOOT A GUN WITH HIS LEFT ARM PERMANENTLY LOCKED IN THE SAME POSITION THAT HE WAS TIED UP IN LAST NITE!
Woman hiding at door: “Dear Jesus God, please let him stop beating that bongo drum!”
It’s that dreamy SSG Clark from Fort Dyx! She’s sooo butch!
I can’t believe that jerk brings his laundry home from Afghanistan every weekend.
Man in window: Oh! I-I thought you were someone else. Nevermind.
Woman thinking: (Choke!) N-not even the peeping Tom pervs want me.(Sob. Boo Hoo!)
Woman, either aloud or in thought: “They said he was MIA but it’s really him! I can’t believe it! I’ve already sold his stuff and started dating again!”
“Oh no!” Will he understand I had to marry his father?
I can’t believe I fell for a Nazi spy with a duffle full of onions [sniff] who can’t he stop heiling Hitler long enough to tell me he’ll miss me. [sputter] And he’s so stupid he thinks he can get a cab from Fort Bragg back to Berlin! [sob]
Oh why is that strange handsome man beating his drum right outside my door? Is it the tom toms of Love?!?
“Oh god he’s home! Thank god, the pool boy left early today!”
“Back already? It can’t be 18 months – I’ve hardly had time to console myself with those four other guys!”
“Oh no! He’s bringing me another thrift shop vintage outfit!”
That is one big bag of marijuana he brought back from Vietnam. He really does love me!!!
Oh Jack. I sacrificed everything to keep you from going to war. Your Uncle Sam promised me he wouldn’t let you go to war after I slept with him. That big lying bully. Never trust a man in a white goatee.
“Dammit, I picked the wrong time to run out of K-Y Jelly!”
” Time to turn on the tears. When he shows up with that bag I know it’s time to play War On Terror!”
Red dress, red fingernails, Estee Lauder perfume, ruby red pumps, his mom’s old jewelry…oh no, I forgot to put on his mother’s old bra. He is going to be so disappointed!!!
This one posted by “tencentsdance” is awesome!
“Yes. He’ll be shocked when he opens the duffel bag. But after all, it’s his child, too.”
Oh no! The UPS man and the cabbie were supposed to come on different days
Whats worse my husband will be home in an hour
Oh No! He warned me about trying on his clothes!
He never wants to share the vibrator fairly!
That he left me isn’t so bad. But why did it have to be for the cab driver who brought him?
Woman thinking: “Oh my God, why does this keep happening?! When I said I wanted a man who could make a serious commitment, this isn’t what I meant!”
Oh, swell! Greg’s back and, judging by the way he’s dressed, he wants to play “Rear Invasion” again. I hate always having to be Afghanistan … it just keeps on going with no sign of stopping!
I love a man in uniform ….but not (sob) a BROWN uniform.
Those darn dating services. I thought GWM was Geriatric White Millionaire not Gay White Male.
“Love is a Battlefield”
SOB! He’s going… and no proposal!
Mother was right. Why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?
Is he saying a kind word over Fido’s backyard grave?
Oh, my god! I thought he had died! Quickly, under the bed!