What are these people saying? It’s up to you. Suggest some dialog! Please keep it reasonably clean (PG-13 or so.) But mostly have fun!
All submissions become the property of Last Kiss Inc.
What are these people saying? It’s up to you. Suggest some dialog! Please keep it reasonably clean (PG-13 or so.) But mostly have fun!
All submissions become the property of Last Kiss Inc.
Phew, I’d give it 5 minutes if I were you.
I’m here to read the meter, Mr. Peter.
I’m sorry Mr. Gladstone, but this is 1963. Nothing is quick when a girdle’s involved.
Whew! That’s the dress I was going to wear, but I grabbed the suit first!
Woman (1): I’m ready for your report, Mr Doe.
Man (thinking): Woa, what a dress. I need that one for myself
Woman (2 – thinking): Why does he stare like that? Men is all alike, mere beasts… I love BEASTS!
(side note: sorry for the bad english – not my native language – but I enjoyed trying writing something I thought funny – I hope you will enjoy it too. I have just bumped into that very web site and well, love that! I will still digging into the content freely available and then, try to find out how to support the author, as I live in France where I never saw any merchandises about last kiss)
As a former English teacher, you get an A+.
Arg! found a typo after posting, what a shame:
Woman (2 – thinking): Why does he stare me like that? Men is all alike, mere beasts… I love BEASTS!
Don’t worry about the typos, LoneWolf. I think you’re doing great. Besides, your English is a lot better than my French!
Lady: Remember . . . dinner tonight with my parents, dear.
Tramp: Great! How about fast food?
Say…..You’re not bad looking for a $20 whore!
Guy: Welcome home, darling. How was your day?
Lady: Same as usual.
Guy: Great. Want to celebrate in the bedroom?
Lady: No – I separate work and private life strictly.
Yes damn it.. You look fat.. Now take it off!
I like this but might suggest just a slight change:
“Yes that dress makes you look fat. You’d better take it off…NOW.”
WOMAN: I’m leaving you… and I’m taking the comic artist with me.
MAN: How do you expect me to live in a blue limbo without a face?
WIFE: Let’s stay indoors today. The forecast calls for Yellow with a chance of scattered Mustard.
Woman thought bubble: Look at that, he has pants on for once!
Woman: Honey–I can’t help but notice that my panties are all stretched out. You wouldn’t know anything about that–now would you?
“You’re right – panties are flushable!”
she: john I’m leaving you, you lied to me.
john: honey , get over it, I was just campaigning
She ” Were we going to the office Christamas party or a funeral? He “What’s the difference?”
She: You and that damn computer what’s it got I don’t
He: It doesn’t ask stupid questions, but then again it doesn’t look good in a dress.
He says; “Ah!, I guess you caught me with my hands in the till!”
she thinks; “Thats some register receipt!”
She: Merry Christmas!
Him: Uh…I’m Jewish.
Weak, I know.
Man, “OH MY GOD DON’T LOOK!!!”
Woman, “What? It’s not like I haven’t seen anything like that before…”
She thinks, “Well, not that small anyways…”
The guy says: “If I wasn’t married, I would ask her to marry me.”
He: Oh, you’re home early! I was just showing my new friend Mona here our bed —- room.
She: Don’t you think she’d have a better view if she was standing up.
WOMAN: No wonder the list price on this house was so low. The artist was too lazy to draw anything but the front door.
BROKER: And the lamp. Don’t forget the lamp. Plus, if you buy this place on a land contract, I’ll have the artist sketch in a toilet.
I like yours, BEMaven. Plays the fourth wall very nicely.
Face it, Tiger, you’ve hit …. Oh wait, you’re not Tiger!
Jack – “Hi hon. What’s that in your hand?”
Jill – “Oh, . . a divorce document.”
Woman: “I’m heading off to work, honey – see you later.”
Man: “Yes, dear – but make sure to close up that incision before you go – your viscera are showing again.”
He, thought ballon: ‘Thank you, Santa!’
Man: Go… Make me a sammich!
She ” In NASCAR the Blue/Yellow flag signals the slow cars to get out of the way of the fast cars” He ” If you know that, why are you still dressed?”
Man (aloud): You must be my blind date.
Woman (thought): Considering how you look, I wish I was blind.
HE is saying: “Gee, Frank, not a lot of guys could carry off that look, but on you…”
Her: Pack your bags, Honey! I won the lottery?
Him: What should I pack?
Her: I don’t care … just get out!
Har har har, I LOVE that joke! Glad someone thought of using it!
MAN SPEAKING:
Bob… you look so (delicious) different!
The woman … aka “Mavis” — Johnny, you’re looking a bit blue.
Man: Maggie, come back to me!
Woman (thinking): I was only holding on ’til Jill gets divorced!
Couldn’t resist making a Cat On A Hot Tin Roof reference, the lady looks like Elizabeth Taylor!
I know no one was named Jill in the play, but how is her turn if you know what I mean, haha.
Man: I told you to stay out of my closet
Woman: And I told YOU that you can’t be prettier than me when we go out
“You are just in time. My zipper appears to be stuck.”
man: “Sorry, the ocean exhibit is closed after 5:00pm.”
Tool-box is the name and plumbing’s my game. Where is your blocked toilet ?
She: Mr. Dorchester, I’ve had it. I quit. I’ve never in my life worked for such a boob!
He (thought bubble): Mmmmmm. Boobs.
Wooof!
WOMAN: Wha–? YOU’RE not SHELDON!
MAN: Neither are YOU!
He: Oops, awkward! As long as you’re here, would you hand me a kleenex?
Dang it Jane–get your own little black number!
Man: Yes honey, this is Jim. No honey he doesn’t have any clothes on. Would you believe I was giving him a colonoscopy? Would you believe I was treating him for itchy butt? How about diaper rash?
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, the holodeck and thou.
Yes, so what if I’m making bunny shadows on the wall!
Woman: It’s a boy!
Man: But I’m infertile!
Strobe lights at the disco???