I don’t know if you found today’s comic funny, but I’m going to pretend that you did. Now I’m pretending that everyone is telling me how funny it is. You’re so kind. Thank you. (It would be rude if I didn’t pretend to be grateful!) No, really. You’re too kind!
WOMAN: Then I'll pretend to sleep with you!
MAN #2 (sitting beside woman): Gosh! You only pretended to kiss me!